 |
|
 |
 |
Meet some of the great looking team! |
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
Contacting Us
|
 |
| |
Please use this form for general enquiries.
For product-specific enquiries, please use the 'Contact Us' button found
on the relevant page using the menu shown on the left. |
Castle Print & Design
in partnership with
The Roman Group
Centurion House,
Woodside Road
Southbourne,
Bournemouth
Dorset, BH5 2BA
Tel: 01635 255 552
FreeFax: 0800 389 7262
Your experience with our company
We take great pride in the work we produce on your behalf. We feel however that quality work should also go hand-in-hand with a professional and reliable service, where the client is not expected to push the job forward.
That's our job!
Our aim is to keep you in the loop as much as possible. We never promise deadlines we know can't be met and would rather lose a job than let a client down.
We can assure you that we will always try our best to give you the service you require.
If you prefer calling, rather than filling out an enquiry form, then please contact either Debbie or Paul on: 01635 255 552
who will be only too happy to help whether it's a quotation you need, product samples or just some print & design advice.
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
Meet Some of the Team! |
| |
|
Ron Hill
(Sales/Costings - semi retired)
Tel: 01635 255 552
Contact: < contact Ron > |
|
Contact Ron if you need any information regarding materials, 4 colour work, pricing etc.
Ron recently led an expedition to the Majal region in north-eastern Tibet in search of the near-extinct 3-toed albino mountain lion. The expedition was abandoned after the team doctor was savagely attacked by a wounded Sherpa who had previously left the team to make a solo attempt (blindfolded) at scaling Tibet's 5th highest peak Mt. Kanburo.
Ron's passion is golf and he can often be found at the 19th hole of our local club.
Ron also likes pasties, green socks, food mixers and his hobbies include mixing concrete and logistical navigation.
Breaking News: Derek, the wounded Sherpa unfortunately failed in his attempt at scaling Mt. Kanburo blindfolded due to navigation errors, and was last seen operating the gherkin slicing machine at Macdonalds, Katmandu. |
|
|
Debbie Summers
(Production Manager)
Tel: 01635 255 552
Contact: < contact Debbie > |
|
Contact Debbie if you need any information regarding general sales enquiries.
Debbie is a keen wine buff and is fluent in 33 languages, including Welsh.
She recently represented England in the International Break Dancing Championships in which she came 83rd.
See here for a fantastic picture of Debbie in action. |
Debbie is also a keen musician and recently won a scholarship to the Bulgarian Nose Flute Academy.
Unfortunately, she had to decline their offer as she is still under contract as Musical Relaxation Officer to the Lhakpa Nyima Clinic (Katmandu branch) for Sherpas Suffering from Vertigo.
Debbie's hobbies include: glass blowing, synchronised swimming, knitting & nose hair removal. |
 |
Breaking News: Regular readers will be sad to learn that Debbie's pet Vietnamese Pot-Bellied Pig (no, not her husband) (see pic here), suffered an unprovoked attack by a vicious car park attendant on a recent trip to theme park Alton Towers. |
On arrival at the scene, medics determined there was nothing they could do to save the car park attendant. Debbie was held for questioning by the police, but later released on bail with a warning not to take the law into her own hands.
Doris, her sister (see pic here) has written to the European Courts for Human Rights, and Rolf Harris, to make a formal complaint about Debbie's treatment.
Brenda, the pig, has made a full physical recovery but is receiving ongoing psychiatric treatment to deal with the trauma of this terrible incident.
return to top of page |
 |
| Debbie pictured leaving Stafford Police Station |
|
|
Paul Hruza BSC
(Pre-Press Graphics / Website / Tea Boy)
Send msg: < HERE >
Google+ |
|
Contact Paul if you need any information regarding preparing artwork for print, or if you just need tips on looking great!
Paul was recently voted Berkshire's most eligible bachelor by Printing Weekly magazine. Apart from the fact he has a wife and 3 kids he is very proud of this achievement.
Paul works as a stunt man in his spare time. He recently featured in the hit movie Mission Impossible 2 in which he can be seen leaping from a 3 storey building. Unfortunately, he missed the airbag and broke both ankles on impact. He tried to claim off the insurance but was told he didn't have a leg to stand on.
Regular readers of this column may have noticed that Paul now has the title BSC after his name. It has taken many years of struggle and hardship to achieve this award and Paul is understandably very proud to be recognised with this honour. In his own words, "I've only been swimming for 38 years and finally have the recognition that very few achieve. I'm very proud of my Bronze Swimming Certificate and would like to publicly thank all the staff at Glodwick Public Baths (Oldham) for their tireless help and support".
When not working out at the local gym, Paul can be found riding his beloved Kawasaki Vulcan VN1500 Classic, Honda Varadero XL1000 or Honda XR350, but not at the same time.
Paul's hobbies include ironing, flower arranging, arm wrestling and making party frocks.
return to top of page |
|
|
Liz Glen
(Accounts)
Tel: 01635 255 552 |
|
Many of you may recognise Liz as she recently appeared on Gok Wan's new series of 'How To Look Good In A Hairnet'.
In Liz's own words, "It's great to see hairnets coming back into fashion as I find them such an attractive addition to one's wardrobe. However, there are a lot of jealous people around who say things like 'It makes you look older', which I think is complete and utter rubbish. I'm 25 now, so you can't expect me to look like I did when I was 18!"
"Even my Mum wants one now, which is really embarrassing. She'll be wanting to come to Bingo with me next. Parents just don't get it do they? They're always trying to copy our tastes and fashions, but they just make fools of themselves!"
"Like, if I said to her: 'Mother, why iz ya always hassling me? Go away an' th'o't about it or I'll git ma mates ta sort ya outs and git Sheniquah's ass back ova' heeah" LOL, she woudn't have a clue what I was saying cos she's square, not cool like me."
"A lot of people ask me what's so special about hairnets, well I tell them they only have to read what the celebrities are saying about them."
For instance, here's some testimonials from the magazine Celebrity Hairnet Monthly: |
|
Cheryl Cole |
Says Cheryl
"I first spotted Susan Boyle wearing one of these, so just had to get my own like. It's fantastic like.
Since wearing it, my hair always looks great like.
Ok, I still can't sing but at least now I look like I can like." |
| |
H.R.H. Princess Anne |
Says H.R.H.
"You know when you get up in the morning and your hair's all greasy and you look really shit, well this hair net is brilliant as it saves you having to fetch someone to wash your hair." |
| |
Beyonce |
Says Beyonce
"Sometimes when I nip out to the off-licence to pick up a packet of cigs, it starts raining and I can't be arsed to go back for the brolly, so I just dig out my hair net and life's good." |
|
Says Liz, "Ok, you'll always look crap compared to them because they're big stars and you're not."
"So, c'mon Sisters, if you want to look really wicked isn't it, then go grab a net. (I made that slang up, good or what?)."
Liz's hobbies include: typing, deer stalking, Bingo (not Thursdays though as she has Salsa classes), and fixing broken calculators.
return to top of page |
|
|
Katherine Saunders
(Reception)
01635 255 552 |
|
Katherine has recently joined our team after spending 3 months working as a senior design technician in the particle accelerator section for a very large UK-based company. "Mothercare has been very good to me", says Katherine, "but times change, and a new challenge was just what I needed".
Katherine and her dancing partner Leonard recently represented the South Dorset Ballroom Dancing Association, winning a bronze medal in the agility & poise category at the Albert Hall.
"I've always loved dancing", says Katherine, "but was gutted when I realised me and Len only got a bronze! We were definitely the best dancers that night and deserved gold. My Mum reckoned it was because of Len's bowel problem. It always happens when he's a bit nervous, but I try not to think about it. Even Brian, the St. John's ambulanceman, said it was an honour to be chosen as medical advisor for the evening, although he wasn't that impressed dealing with Len's problem."
"The Albert Hall Home for the Elderley in Bournemouth has always been a great venue as the accoustics are fabulous. They even laid on a 3 course meal for all the dancers! The van driver who delivered the food said the residents of the Home would be a bit short on carrots that evening as he had made sure we all had extra helpings. I could easily get used to this star treatment!
"Being a celebrity is not without its problems though, in fact, the very next day I was recognised in the Post Office and it took me nearly half an hour to get out. Mind you, it was lunchtime and they were a bit short staffed but nevertheless, it's just another facit of my life I have to live with."
"Paul thinks he's a big shot now, after appearing on the Apprentice, but everyone knows who the real star is! I mean, which makes better viewing, some idiot prancing about sucking up to Sir Alan Sugar, or the tasteful elegance and sophistication only an exponent of the classical artform of dance can bring to the equation? "
Katherine is currently receiving medical treatment.
Katherine's hobbies include: ballroom dancing, ten-pin bowling, badminton, astronomy, looking for lost golf balls, shopping, ironing & equine psychoanalysis.
return to top of page |
|
|
Dave Butcher
(Credit Controller)
Tel: ex. dir
Contact: not available |
|
Dave has just joined us after working for 3 years as Junior Orthodontist at the Simon Cowell International Teeth-Whitening Academy in Norwich.
Prior to that, he was Head of Security at Billingsgate Fish Market in London. He tells us this demanding position taught him the neccessary skills to deal with any breach of security issue. We have yet to see his credentials, but Dave tells us he is trained in all major martial arts and is often heard to say, 'don't mess with me, or else'. I was personally threatened by Dave, (at his interview), so I am not sure how he actually got a position here in our company.
He originally applied for the position of guillotine operator so I am not sure how he got to be credit controller, and this is still being looked into.
Dave is single and enjoys cooking, plane-spotting,
mud-wrestling and is the raffle coordinator for the
South Dorset Extreme Ironing Association.
return to top of page |
|
Many of you may have recently seen the BBC2 series
'The Apprentice'.
Paul applied as a candidate for one of the early series and was quickly recognised to be a superb businessman, with the killer instinct so necessary in this dog-eat-dog world we live in.
Sir Alan was so impressed with Paul's boyish good-looks, his witty charm and business acumen, that he immediately arranged for Paul to take control of his Hong Kong operation.
The downside to this was that Paul would not be available to appear on the program, but alternatively, would act as Sir Alan's chief advisor on the forthcoming series. (Honest!! Look, pictures don't lie!!)
Unfortunately, Hong Kong hasn't quite happened yet as Paul was arrested en-route for slapping a lady boy in Tiger Joe's Tavern, in downtown Phuket. He was trying on a pair of lycra cycling shorts at the time, purchased from a visiting timeshare salesman from Benidorm, when the altercation took place.
His psychiatrist has since made an appeal on Paul's behalf, stating that he was wrongfully arrested as the lady boy mistook Paul for Bob Monkhouse. Paul has since apologised to Mr Monkhouse and has returned the travel documents found in the Ikea chest of drawers with laminated top in Mr Monkhouse's dressing room at the London Palladium.
All charges have now been dropped, apart from the streaking incident last Christmas at the Blackpool Theatre Royal, featuring Jim Davidson as Aladdin with a great supporting cast and music by the Albert Todd Orchestra.
Insider News!!
"Being on the inside of such a wonderful programme brings back many happy memories" says Paul. " Obviously, my contract forbids me to speak about all my experiences, but I remember one day outside the boardroom.
The candidates were nervously waiting to be called into the boardroom, and I was chatting to the receptionist. Six of the candidates suddenly started kicking and punching Saira.
Sir Alan walks in and says to me, 'Aren't you going to help?'
I said, 'No, six should be enough.' He laughed!
|
Disclaimer
All the above text is based on fact. No pictures have been 'doctored' in any way. OK, I lied about the pig. - Paul |
return to top of page |
|
| |
The identity of BBC Top Gear's
'The Stig' finally revealed!
The Stig has now blown his cover and revealed all. 'Mouse Over' the above pic to see the true identity of this television legend.
|
Breaking News! |
Celebrity Testimonial from 'The Stig'.
"Hi, my name is The Stig. You may have seen me on BBC2's Top Gear. I recommend Castle Print & Design for all my stationery requirements. Their service is second to none. I've just received my latest brochure and it looks great! I always use Castle Print & Design because they all look great. Paul and I spend lots of time together talking about fashion and stuff like that. He's great". |
|
|
|
Are you a fan of BBC's Masterchef?
Yep, us too.
Want to see some incredible footage of what
really goes on behind the scenes?
Just click on the photo below!
|
|
Kids! Bless 'em!
Answers to history tests and Sunday school quizzes given by children between 5th and 6th grade in Ohio. They were collected over a period of three years by two teachers.
Ancient Egypt was old. It was inhabited by gypsies and mummies who all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that all the inhabitants have to live elsewhere.
Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandos. He died before he ever reached Canada but his commandos made it.
Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. He was an actual hysterical figure as well as being in the bible. It sounds like he was sort of busy too.
The Greeks were a highly sculptured people and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a young female moth.
Socrates was a famous old Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. He later died from an overdose of wedlock which is apparently poisonous. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
In the first Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits and threw the java. The games were messier then than they show on TV now.
Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out "Same to you, Brutus."
Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was canonized by Bernard Shaw for reasons I don't really understand. The English and French still have problems.
Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen". As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah!" and that was the end of the fighting for a long while.
It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood.
Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking.
Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper which was very dangerous to all his men.
The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter.
Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Since then no one ever found it.
Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backward and also declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." He was a naturalist for sure. Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead.
Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's Mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation.
On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theatre and got Shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. They believe the assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposingly insane actor.
This ruined Booth's career.
Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German, half Italian, and half English. He was very large.
Bethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf that he wrote loud music and became the father of rock and roll. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this.
The nineteenth century was a time of a great many thoughts and inventions. People stopped reproducing by hand and started reproducing by machine. The invention of the steamboat caused a network of rivers to spring up.
Cyrus McCormick invented the McCormick raper, which did the work of a hundred men.
Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbits but I don't know why.
Charles Darwin was a naturalist. He wrote the Organ of the Species. It was very long and people got upset about it and had trials to see if it was really true. He sort of said God's days were not just 24 hours but without watches who knew anyhow? I don't get it.
Madman Curie discovered radio. She was the first woman to do what she did. Other women have become scientists since her but they didn't get to find radios because they were already taken.
Karl Marx was one of the Marx Brothers. The other three were in the movies. Karl made speeches and started revolutions. Someone in the family had to have a job, I guess.
|
|
|
|
Earthquake in England
With all the news on TV lately about the extreme weather conditions affecting the East coast of the US , the mud slides in the Middle East and South America, along with the dire predictions made by such films as The Day After Tomorrow, we shouldn't forget that Britain has its share of devastation too.
I've attached a photo illustrating the damage caused to a friend's home from the earthquake that hit Lincolnshire the other night. I just hope they can get things back to normal very quickly. It would be awful to have to endure these conditions for too long.
It really makes you cherish what you have, and reminds us not to take things for granted. This is the sort of thing that happens to other people, but it could so easily have been you or me.
|
|
| return to top of page |
|
 |
Contact us here with your printing query or for requesting samples
We will deal with your enquiry as soon as possible
You can also call us on: 01635 255 552 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
